This time I lasted at least ten minutes but finally came again, arching up into her as deeply as I could. This caused her to moan loudly and I really think she came again right along with me. We continued to fuck slowly for several more minutes before she finally rolled off me. We lay there next to each other and she snuggled up to me, calling me her baby. Neither one of us was tired enough to sleep and we lay there talking for a long time. We talked about sex mostly and she told me all about how she had lost her virginity when she was just eleven. The thought of her as a little girl having sex was very erotic to me and I pushed her to hear about all her sexual life. She told me about the sex with her twelve year old boyfriend (eventually my father), with several older men including her teenage paperboy, a UPS driver, and even how she had seduced her dad, all before she was thirteen. She even mentioned that she had a very sexual relationship with her younger sister Sally when Sally. Those women were so much on my mind that I could almost feel their skin and smell their personal fragrance.Each of my former loves brought much to my life, but took even more when they left. The fury I felt when Beth Ann was killed, matched the dark anger that drove me to revenge Benjamin’s murder. When Rebecca ended her life, the pain was staggering, but each time there were others in my life to help me make the transition. This time the loneliness was my personal demon. It ate at me and wore though my defenses like a never-ending wind that cut and ripped non-stop at my soul.If it weren’t for Charger, I wonder if I’d have found the courage and strength to go on. He needed me because I provided those things he couldn’t live without. I depended on him because his love was without conditions, demands, or frustrations. We were rarely separated. If I went somewhere he went, too. When I settled down on the bed to read, or watch a ball game, he jumped up and cuddled.It was what he did.God.
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